Friday, June 16, 2006
why gwm gam relationships?? ( found this on da web... does not neccessarily reflect my opinion)
*A German's point of view:
1. I think, it is necessary to differ between the various Asian countries. The situation in Malaysia or China is not the same as in Thailand , Sri Lanka , on the Philippines and in Indonesia . One reason is the different economical situation - in the "poor countries", where many young people have no chance to get a good job, many dream to find a "good life", when they go to Europe or North-America and to find a partner there is for some or many one way. I experienced that many there have little knowledge about Europe and believe that everybody there is "rich". Obviously the poor cannot travel to Asia . But also a middle-class man is "rich" if he spends his holidays in one of these countries.
I think there are also many reasons that elder and old GWM look for young GAM. I have no statistics - only my individual impressions! But I think:
The relation between old and young here is not the same as in Asia . Countries like Germany are superannuated - many old but little young people.
Here most young people do not like to be with elder and old people. We have a special "youth culture" (clothes, music, habits). The young always follow the latest fashion - but not the elder and the old. Therefore many youngsters find them old-fashioned, stupid and boring. And: Here most young do not respect elder and old people like in the Confucian tradition. Especially in the gay-subculture only young is trump - gays of 30 feel old already.
But most elder and old gays want young partners. I think by nature a young body is more handsome and attractive than that of an adult or senior. Already in the old Greek and Roman culture you find the ideal of Adonis - a young boy.
But the mentioned circumstances make it difficult for elder and old GWM to get the desired young friends. So many go to Asia - from the sex-tourists, especially to Thailand , to such searching seriously a relationship. Look for the Silverdaddys: from the people there, who come from Europe and USA , 90 % are elder or old - only 10% the desired young boys. And for GWM going to Asia it is great to experience there that young GAM are interested in them, respectful and often very willing to adapt - other than in Europe . And for most it is easy to strengthen their attractiveness for the boys with gifts and so on - while in Europe it would need more money than they have.
2. When I was in Asia I did not visit the typical tourist places for GWM like beaches. Therefore I don't know much about the age-gaps. But I think also here you have to differ between "friendship" only for the time of holidays in Asia and true life-long partnerships. Often the gap of age by holidays-friendship (and also by GWM who settle down in Asia ) is very big, f. e. between 14 and 80. But I do not many couples living here in Germany -only one, they are in same age.
3. No, I have never seen that. I think, the whole complex is a problem.
A relationship with a gap of age is always a problem because the mental gap becomes bigger and bigger. For example if one is 30 and the other one 55 it is perhaps not important - but when one is 50 and the other one 80, has become weak and perhaps sick, it is very important - especially for the younger.
Often when the young GAM comes to his partner in Europe this GWM "cares for him" - and the boy is dependant on him and subordinate. To get a job here is difficult - the language and most diplomas, etc. from his home country do not get accepted here. And when the elder or old dies often his Asian partner suddenly has "nothing". And the Asian boy here has only one - his partner, but the GWM has here his family, his friends, his colleagues. And a man in holidays is not the same as the same at-home!
I experienced also that sometimes the GWM looses the interest for the boy, when the boy has become a man.
1. I think, it is necessary to differ between the various Asian countries. The situation in Malaysia or China is not the same as in Thailand , Sri Lanka , on the Philippines and in Indonesia . One reason is the different economical situation - in the "poor countries", where many young people have no chance to get a good job, many dream to find a "good life", when they go to Europe or North-America and to find a partner there is for some or many one way. I experienced that many there have little knowledge about Europe and believe that everybody there is "rich". Obviously the poor cannot travel to Asia . But also a middle-class man is "rich" if he spends his holidays in one of these countries.
I think there are also many reasons that elder and old GWM look for young GAM. I have no statistics - only my individual impressions! But I think:
The relation between old and young here is not the same as in Asia . Countries like Germany are superannuated - many old but little young people.
Here most young people do not like to be with elder and old people. We have a special "youth culture" (clothes, music, habits). The young always follow the latest fashion - but not the elder and the old. Therefore many youngsters find them old-fashioned, stupid and boring. And: Here most young do not respect elder and old people like in the Confucian tradition. Especially in the gay-subculture only young is trump - gays of 30 feel old already.
But most elder and old gays want young partners. I think by nature a young body is more handsome and attractive than that of an adult or senior. Already in the old Greek and Roman culture you find the ideal of Adonis - a young boy.
But the mentioned circumstances make it difficult for elder and old GWM to get the desired young friends. So many go to Asia - from the sex-tourists, especially to Thailand , to such searching seriously a relationship. Look for the Silverdaddys: from the people there, who come from Europe and USA , 90 % are elder or old - only 10% the desired young boys. And for GWM going to Asia it is great to experience there that young GAM are interested in them, respectful and often very willing to adapt - other than in Europe . And for most it is easy to strengthen their attractiveness for the boys with gifts and so on - while in Europe it would need more money than they have.
2. When I was in Asia I did not visit the typical tourist places for GWM like beaches. Therefore I don't know much about the age-gaps. But I think also here you have to differ between "friendship" only for the time of holidays in Asia and true life-long partnerships. Often the gap of age by holidays-friendship (and also by GWM who settle down in Asia ) is very big, f. e. between 14 and 80. But I do not many couples living here in Germany -only one, they are in same age.
3. No, I have never seen that. I think, the whole complex is a problem.
A relationship with a gap of age is always a problem because the mental gap becomes bigger and bigger. For example if one is 30 and the other one 55 it is perhaps not important - but when one is 50 and the other one 80, has become weak and perhaps sick, it is very important - especially for the younger.
Often when the young GAM comes to his partner in Europe this GWM "cares for him" - and the boy is dependant on him and subordinate. To get a job here is difficult - the language and most diplomas, etc. from his home country do not get accepted here. And when the elder or old dies often his Asian partner suddenly has "nothing". And the Asian boy here has only one - his partner, but the GWM has here his family, his friends, his colleagues. And a man in holidays is not the same as the same at-home!
I experienced also that sometimes the GWM looses the interest for the boy, when the boy has become a man.
// posted by marc @ 3:14 PM 
