ME NO SPG AH!!!

Here is a sample of the lonely hearts’ emails Santa has received:

• Dear Santa, I would like an X-Box for Christmas. My mum would like a man for Christmas.

• Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year and worked really hard. I have babysat for the grandchildren lots, and not blinked an eye when they have puked up on my carpet. I have washed heaps of the old fella’s smelly socks and not complained (much). I have cooked, cleaned and dusted. I may have drunk too much and fallen over once or twice, but hey, girls just gotta have fun now and again.

Now to the crunch. Xmas day . . . Guess who will be working up till Xmas eve and again on boxing day, and doing all the cooking and cleaning? Yep Santa, right on!!

So, could you please send me an elf to do the dishes? Make him a cute little sexy one, and I would prefer that he can not talk, burp or talk about rugby or politics.

Thank you Santa, love you heaps.

• Listen Santa, I want a new man this Xmas I broke the last one.

• Hi Santa, I have been very good this year. So for Christmas I would like a new man, as I feel I have been alone too long. I would like a new man for Christmas and the New Year please.

Head of Consumer Marketing for Telecom, Victoria Crone says, the requests for men may make Santa’s Christmas shopping a little tougher this year.